The Pipes would be rusty.
Mario would be an alcoholic.
Luigi would be a drug dealer.
Wario would make Ash explode.
Latiku would be a TV commenter.
Donkey Kong would be fxcking Pauline as we speak.
Peach would have been kidnapped.
Samus Aran would be a pole-stripper.
Yoshi would get dizembowelled by the Boucher.
Daisy would be dead.
Kirby would be #1 Public Ennemy.
Zelda would kill Link.
And this is where I would come in.
Valerie-Anne, 15.
And I would say :
"Shit, this world is all fxcked up!"
But sadly, this is what the world has become.

